Deep Sadness

Psalm 42:5 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon - from Mount Mizar.

Every time I head into Holy Week, coming off of Palm Sunday, I have deep feelings of sadness. I don't really understand them fully, and this year it seems I could place them in the current situation. However, I don't think my sadness during Holy Week has anything to do with Covid-19. It's deeper than that. There seems to be a soul understanding of my personal need of the work of Jesus in the coming days. I feel the weight of his suffering. It's strange. I know that the cross is finished and that I have been bought, yet Paul talks about sharing in Jesus' suffering. I think this must be what I feel during this week. It's not meant to be a downer. It's actually quite uplifting, which is why I know it's of God. I remember the places God has moved, where He has walked, the paths He and I have taken together. I am reminded of the pain that was there and the glory that followed. I am reminded of the happiness that was felt and the praise from my lips. There is hope in God, and He is the only place there is hope. Nothing of man can begin to touch the deep places of my heart and bring me peace and joy like my Jesus can. He is going to walk the path to the cross and I must go with him to draw closer to him.